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Monday, 31 December 2012

I don't know about you, but I love digging through old yearbooks - especially those that allow the seniors to make comments.  You can always count on them to deliver up some hilarious words in their short bios, whether it be encrypted tomfoolery to avoid censorship or just straight-ahead nonsense.  Either way, the awkward photos aren't the only thing good for a laugh.

As always, the last names have been obscured.  Plus, I should mention that, if my own personal yearbook photo were included here, it would be dumber and more embarrassing than any of these.  In other words, I have no room to talk, but will talk nonetheless. So, enjoy.

Cheryl - TJ Swann was a cheap wine from back in the day - I don't know if they still make it.  A popular saying was "Pass the bong and the TJ Swann" - so, she may be referencing weed as well.

James - "Hunting, four wheeling and partying" - this is redneck heaven.

These two weren't next to each other in the yearbook, but they seem to go hand-in-hand in regards to compound bows.  Hilarious.

William - Likes to party and get crazy..... and then rides the bus every morning.  Something doesn't add up here.  I'm putting his partying prowess under review.

Marianne - Likes Alice Cooper and Miller - my kind of girl.

Randall - Definitely the a-hole of the bunch.  A young Alec Baldwin who loves his Firebird and hates "losing at anything".

Meanwhile, Dominick just plays drums, goes to concerts and hates burnt out chicks.

Linda doesn't strike me as a Nazareth fan.  "Now you're messing with a... SONOFABITCH!"

But then, I wouldn't have pegged Kevin as a Zappa and BOC fan either.  Go figure.

Ron really summarizes the rural teenage male of the seventies perfectly.  He digs chicks, partying, Chevys, hunting and motor bike ridin'.  Hells yes.

Jeffrey, however, may be the most profound of them all.  "Of everything in the whole world, what is something you like?"..... Nacho cheese flavored Doritos.

Richard likes getting down on Larry...... Hmmm. Well, that's nice.
Robin is a man after my own heart: he likes Coors and Aerosmith, but hates calculus.  High five!.... don't leave me hangin'.

Schlitz Malt, Peter Frampton, Kansas, Alice Cooper - these are things the seventies were made of.

Lynn couldn't possibly be referring to cocaine here.... could she?  I mean, it's not capitalized and it is 1978 after all.  Makes one wonder.

And I won't judge you Mark..... at least not until I get to know you.  Then I'll judge you.


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