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Thursday, 4 October 2012

Home computer advertising in the eighties may have over-represented their products, but they did it with gusto.  Computer products, whether it was hardware or software, were going to shock and awe your family to the point of orgasm.  They were going to save your children from the clutches of ignorance and unemployment.  They were going to bring your lousy dysfunctional family together into a wonderfully harmonious circle of love.  Computing was, dare I say, 'The Answer' for every upper middle class Caucasian family.

Let's look at some ads and you'll see what I mean.  In this post we'll look at educational products that will make your stupid kids smart.  In the next tech post, we'll just look at general computer insanity.  Enjoy.

So, what you're telling me is that my dumb son who eats boogers can become a college graduate..... and it'll help pay for it too?!? Holy shit. Sign me up!

  "You can travel through space and time.  and go where no one has gone before - to the center of your imagination."

Hmmm.  It looks like just monochrome word processing.... but if you say so.

This was the big buzz in the education world back in the eighties - computer software was going to replace your flesh and bones teachers.

This coming from a guy in a knit square-end necktie.  Sorry, but no.

Just look at all this incredible learning going on.  And it's all because of a crummy dot matrix printer.  Who knew?

Looks like Nike got a bit of free advertising here.

I guess I'm just a jaded and cynical human being.... but the way that dad is looking at his daughter..... (shudder)

Lie to your parents.  Sure, you've got an algebra test to study for - but, screw it, this is technically studying. Right?

I wonder how many parents bought Plato thinking their kids would end up academic all-stars.  A set of floppy disks does not a valedictorian make.  Software was truly the magic pill that was going turn these white kids successful.  So, were Plato and its ilk snake-oil charlatans, or true believers?  I wonder.

Take home message: Blow your kid's college savings on a Commodore.


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