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Tuesday, 21 August 2012

I don't know what this Jumbo album cover means..... I just know it's the coolest illustration to ever grace a record bar none.  I want this in every classroom in America for all kids to pledge allegiance to. I want every man, woman and child to meditate upon it.  This needs to be framed by the hearth in every home and emblazoned upon billboards across this land. Some day this cover will be decoded and it will save the world.

And now prepare for more vinyl cover greatness...

Good Lawd.  Does every country have its own Jerry Lewis?  It's no wonder Dino drank so much - anything to dull the pain.

This is how anal I can be:  the black girl's right boot is slightly covering the "e" in "America", leading us to believe she is in the foreground.  Yet, there's this huge chasm between the "m" and the "e".  Is this some sort of weird M.C. Escher optical illusion?  Nope. It's just bad design.

I do like how Paradise is super-multicultural, but without a Hispanic it just feels like something's missing.  Are they trying to say it's Paradise without Hispancs? Paradise is racist!

It doesn't look like our lady is enjoying her pork fat on a stick.  No really, I'm not comfortable with cotton candy that's not dyed, preferably with some bright pink carcinogenic toxin.

I like Rick Worrall, he is as irritated by jugglers as I am.

Looks like the Rising Sons need to get acquainted with the actual rising sun. From the looks of things, these three pasty fellas haven't seen daylight in quite some time.

Let's see if we can piece together the clues: 3 guitars, a tent, a girl with ice cream, a parrot, a (blood?)stain under his left boot, a motorcycle, palm trees, and roller skates.... and his name can be rearranged to spell "Deludes" (minus the "K").

Would someone out there please devote their life piecing this together?  It would mean a lot to me.

Hey, look... it's the Roofie Fairy!

Quick Facts

  1. The drummer is obviously in the wrong room.  Mister Mister is in the class next door.  Easy mistake.
  2. "Rockin in the classroom" sounds terrible. Try dropping the "in" and just do "Rockin the classroom" instead.  You're welcome.
  3. The crazy man in the black 'n' red duds in the back is violently masturbating.  Just thought I'd let you know.
  4. The bass player on the right is a young Bill Mahr.
  5. If a real teacher dressed like this for a high school class, 1 out of every 5 male students would die.  It's no laughing matter, folks.
  6. Only years later would they learn the lead guitarist (center) was a retarded sex offender
  7. The lead singer is a young Rob Corddry


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