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Monday, 19 March 2012

I have tons of old yearbooks and have been tempted to post on this topic for several years: however, I've never really know what to say about these old photographs.  "Hey, doesn't this guy look stupid? Hey, look at her funny hair." That sort of thing gets old quick, so I've refrained from covering this subject completely.

Plus, were you to see my own yearbook photo, you would wonder how I had any room whatsoever to talk. To give you an indication - all my high school yearbook photographs feature a massive mullet that would make Richard Dean Anderson green with envy.  Suffice it to say, I have no business criticizing yearbook photos of anyone.

That being said, who's to say that we can't enjoy a look back every once and a while.  For instance, that mighty 'fro pictured above is a glorious thing to behold, as is the plaid suit pictured below.... 

And then there's the awkward expressions, the funky tuxedos, gargantuan ties and collars, and dynamite hairstyles.... what's not to love? (If I recall correctly, National Lampoon had a special issue devoted to yearbooks that was spot on perfect.)

Besides all these reasons to love old yearbooks, perhaps the best is try and guess what these mysterious faces were like.  Can you pick out the stoners and the mathletes? I focused on one high school yearbook (which shall remain anonymous) and spotlight a few senior portraits....

This is definitely the stoner (i.e. Slater from Dazed and Confused). Most everyone smoked weed back in '76 (the year of this yearbook); however, some dudes really excelled at it.  This guy was certainly high when his senior photo was taken.
Your natural inclination is to think of Rivers Cuomo (Weezer), but that's only because of the glasses and slight resemblance in the facial features.  I'll simply point out that there were basically no designer glasses back then and no one wore contact lenses.  Thus, looking past the nerdy frames, this guy was probably a fairly popular fellow.

Dear Lord. I have no similar intention of suggesting this fellow was also popular.  This guy has "Kent 'Flounder' Dorfman" written all over him.

Dare I suggest this is the local "Wooderson"? He doesn't look quite as cool as Matthew McConaughey, but I'm still gettin' that vibe.

"The older you get, the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N."

Why do I get the feeling this guy was called "Frodo" at school? Voted Most Likely to Throw a Ring into  Mount Doom.

This is the guy that will kick your ass and take your lunch money.  He will most definitely smash your tater tots and not think twice about it.

Way out of your league, man.  Don't even try. Better increase your odds and go for the next girl instead....

I'll save my snappy comments from here on out, and let you form your own hypotheses on the rest of these senior portraits.  I look forward to reading your comments!



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