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Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Does this instructor want to have a stern talk with one of his pupils? Perhaps, she's hit a rebellious phase, and he's going to do the right thing and steer her back on the right path.

Or, perhaps, he just wants pancakes.

The last post of this type proved to be so popular and fun to write, I couldn't help but compose a follow-up.  Unlike the last one, however, this time I'm not going to focus on seventies social gatherings. Instead, we're going to check out images from the 1980s, and test how jaded and cynical we all are. We're going to test and see whether your mind is truly hopelessly lost in the gutter. Are these just innocent moments in time captured on film? Or are they moments captured shortly before "pancakes".......

Recall that  I don't want to use the actual word (rhymes with "corn", begins with "p") because this post is liable to get tons of traffic from those looking for something more adult oriented. Not that there's anything wrong with it; however, that's not what this post is about, and there's no sense in disappointing tens of thousands of people, right? So, I'll be using a random code word as a catch-all - "pancake".

A nice little lesson in racquetball? ..... Or a flimsy excuse for this fellow to get some pancakes?

Now, this is just a simple photograph of a guy opening the door for a women to pass through. There's absolutely nothing dirty or sexual going on here whatsoever.... so why do I smell pancakes? Maybe it's that hardcore mullet pointing me in that direction.

Let's use our deductive reasoning here.  No one has French chambermaids in real life... especially middle class blokes like this dude. Therefore, this woman is obviously about to serve him a heaping helping of pancakes.

Once again, this seems innocuous enough. Just a couple having a conversation with another fellow by their boat - it couldn't be more irreproachable and above suspicion.  And yet my Spidey sense is tingling again.... the mullet, the yellow pumps, the cleverly placed French bread loaves - they can mean only one thing: three servings of pancakes!

I'm ashamed to say that I'm instantly thinking "pancakes" here, yet there's absolutely no warning signs in this photo.  Is it just the miniskirt? If so, then that explains why the mini has gone out of vogue for so long - instead of a declaration of feminine beauty and liberation, it's become become a sort of harbinger of pancakes. Thus, we're no better than the old lady below... MINISKIRTS ARE EVIL HARBINGERS OF PANCAKES!

Okay, time to collect myself and move on (wiping sweat off brow). What about this next one? Looks like three friends just sharing some Budweiser. A straightforward, clean and simple slice of life, right?

Wait a minute.  Those guys have that look in their eyes.  The kind of look a hungry man gets when he's placed in front of a big steaming stack of pancakes.   I'm scared for her. So very scared.

Well, botched parachute landings have certainly ended up a lot worse. What started as a potentially life-threatening free-fall has ended with a pancakes on the lawn. I should have such luck.

This should serve as a lesson for you kids.  'It's always darkest before the dawn.'  In other words, just when you think you're screwed, you end up knee-deep in pancakes.

And look at this poor schlub.  He's out there hauling boxes of glass bottles, completely oblivious to the fact his boss would rather see him make pancakes. Put the bottles down, son! I'm all about recycling, but it can wait!

Let there be no mistake: when you wear shades like the guy pictured below, you wear them for only two reasons: (1) keeping the sun out of your eyes and (2) making pancakes.

This next picture should serve as the standard for all Twisted Impressions posts.  It's a textbook example of catching on to sexual clues, or having them go completely under the radar. Establishing that happy balance between being naive and seeing pancakes where there are none is sometimes a tricky business.


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