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Monday, 19 December 2011

I had a hunch Kris Kringle was a leg man by the way he dressed his lady helpers at the mall. His assistants in their little elf outfits are clear indicators that Mr. Claus fancies him some miniskirts. And upon further research, Santa's penchant for a miniskirt becomes undeniable - as evidence, I ask you to check out some of the old photographs where Claus is caught red handed enjoying some holiday miniskirt action.

As you look at the evidence, I ask you to withhold judgement. It gets mighty cold and lonely at The North Pole - can we really blame ol' St. Nick for taking a break from shoveling reindeer crap and appreciating a few short dresses?  After all, he gives us so much, is it so "naughty" to enjoy the view of a nice set of gams in a festive mini once and a while? Indeed, miniskirts are the only known example of something being both Naughty and Nice. So, I raise my glass of alcohol-drenched eggnog to dear Santa. We are kindred spirits in this miniskirt biz. Feliz Navidad, baby!

Nice. Awkward laughter is always the best means to cut the sexual tension. 

Easy there, Santa. She's been good all year. You of all people shouldn't be the one to make her turn naughty. Resist, damn you. Resist!

Play it off, man. Maybe she'll think it's just a candy cane in your pocket.

Is it so wrong for Santa to bed down some of the womenfolk? Or better question: is too late to drop the "saint" part and just go by Nick?

He looks horrified because Santa Claus seems to be flirting with his date.



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