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Monday, 19 September 2011

"These golden beads dissolve - actually pop-ity pop into noggy nutmeggy flavor."  If ever there was a bad idea, it was instant egg nog - sort of a Folger's Crystals but with eggs and dairy.

However.... wait a tick, my wife is telling me she actually loved these as a kid.  Her memory: "the crystals were the texture and consistency of Ovaltine, and it turned your milk lemon yellow.  It was tasty, and you could have it year round.  But truth be told, it was flavorful but tasted nothing like real egg nog"

That's Jell-O on top of that potato salad.  As to where the "grill marks" come from, is anybody's guess.  The crab meat salad issuing from the fish's gut in the background is a nice touch don't you think?  And look carefully, that faux fish pops up in the next completely unrelated and separate advertisement...

I like mayonnaise as much as the next guy, but entire molds made with it seems a bit much.  I'm sorry, but mixing it with gelatin and molding it does not mean it's going to taste good.  In fact, I'm pretty sure it's going to taste like hot sick ass.

This one's just a damn shame.  The cheeses above look mouth watering - but as your eyes drift downward, things get ugly. 

Just garnish with a sprig of parsley and a Tagamet HB.


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